- to guide in a particular direction
As I approach my impending departure from university, my anxiety levels are rising and my stress levels have reached (what I feel is) an unbearable point.
"What's got you down?" you ask. I'll tell you . . . everything.
OK, so that's an over-exaggeration, but at the moment it does feel like anything and everything could set me off.
No money? Worry. Lull in friendships? Get anxious. Deadlines? Panic. Feeling too young? Cry. Feeling too old? Cry a little bit more.
I feel like I'm stuck in this constant back and forth. One day I'm asking life to slow things down, "Give me a break, let me catch my breath. Can I just have a little more time?". And the next, I'm trying to get things to speed up, "I don't need to do this, I'm too old, I'm too clever. This is boring, let's skip to the good bit". Hands up if that's you (joking, I can't see your hands, put them down).
Life's great, but, for some strange reason, it doesn't seem to be operating on my terms.
So, I'm a worrier.
What I mean is, I'm prone to worrying.
I know that's negative and I'm not saying that it's a natural part of my character, but sometimes it's easier for my brain to blow things up than it is for me to let go of the things I can't control.
Sometimes I wonder if I worry for the sake of it. Am I worried because I'm worried, or is it just out of habit? To be honest, I'm not 100% sure (maybe it's a variation). The problem is not why I worry, but more the fact that I worry at all.
I mean, what's the point? I can't control a majority of the things I'm worrying about and, even if I could control it, how is my worrying going to help solve anything?
Psalm 23 (ESV) says "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want", other versions say "I lack nothing" or (my personal favourite) "I have everything I need".
The Bible is full of God's many promises to provide us with everything we need and guide us through every area of our lives, and it gives us proof of that through the stories that show His provision and guidance throughout people's lives.
My life is living proof of this, I can see it in so many different areas. But it's so easy for me to take that for granted, and when things change I'm thrown because I've gotten so used to things being "just so".
"The Lord is my shepherd; I have everything I need".
It's funny how easy it is to write that. Believing it, however, is another thing.
"I can't imagine what it would be like if I had everything I needed", that's what I say to myself, not realising that I'm already living this mystery dream.
My wants and my needs are not always interchangeable and that can be frustrating, but I know that God provides everything that I need (I just forget sometimes).
I'm going on, but my point is don't worry. I mean, I'm not gonna force you to not worry, but worrying doesn't change anything (except for your stress level).
I've been given the opportunity to trust that I have everything I need, but I choose to entrust my wants to God - my guide. I could (and often do) worry about it, but they're much better off in His hands than they are in mine.
Leave all your worries with Him, because He cares for you.
- Peter 5:7 (GNT)